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Coconut Cream Pie

April 17, 2015 by  
Filed under Food Porn

coconut cream pieI went to the grocery store yesterday to purchase the ingredients for what turned out to be cat food when this annoying voice kept tickling my eardrum.  I tried to ignore it while systematically checking things off my list –  Egg Noodles (check)  Tuna Fish (check)  Cream of Mushroom Soup (check) – and  I was doing a really good job of staying focused until I got to the milk.

Now I know what you are thinking, you are thinking that milk is not a nefarious refreshment (unless of course you are lactose intolerant in which case it is).  However it wasn’t the product so much as the location that initiated my downfall.  You see the milk is located directly across the isle from the frozen deserts and as it turns out THE VOICE!  There is was – slightly muffled behind the glass doors and yet quite perceptible to my ear drums.   It said “Tanya – you know you want me!”

I shook my head slightly because I didn’t want the other people in the isle to think I was having a psychotic episode. (which obviously I was) and tried to remain focused on the assortment of milk options before me.

“Pssst Tanya – over here!”

I shook my head again.   I was not going to give in.  No siree!

“You know it’s been forever since you had me”  the voice taunted.

This time I shook my head a bit to vigorously because the person beside me that was reaching for a pint of heavy whipping cream quickly stepped back.  I gave them a “you can safely get your cream I won’t kill you” smile and watched as they snatched the cream and skedaddled out of my reach.

Then the voice, which was no longer muffled, screamed: “Oh come on!   Just this once!  No one will ever know!”

I jumped and spun around only to meet the wary eyes of a stranger holding open the glass door to the freezer.  I smiled my well practiced “I’m not crazy” smile again then hastily turned back to the milk.  Grabbing a half gallon of skim I placed it in my cart and stiffened my resolve to get the heck out of dodge.

Then it happened – the demise of my willpower.  The voice, once more muffled behind the closed glass door, said:  “Please don’t leave me here.  It’s cold and my one and only friend was taken away yesterday.  I’m lonely and I need you!”

So it was, with great reluctance, that I approached the freezer.  I opened the door, removed the frozen coconut cream pie and gently placed it in my cart.  Then with my head held high walked to the counter.

Granted I am not proud of my undeniable weakness and I won’t even get into the lengths I went to in order to quickly THAW and eat said pie but I will say that it was DELISH and I savored every bite!

I will also say, that I have now invested in some earplugs which I will be taking with me on future trips to the grocery store.  At least people will think I am deaf and not crazy.  I’m okay with that!

~JustMeT

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